34th Memory [video]

[memoryboxes]

 [Deep breath. Relax. There we go. It'll all be okay. It'll all work out. 

(Perhaps not.)

She can't let herself think like that; can't think about what it could mean for Mithos, or for anyone in his predicament. She doesn't want to leave him to this place. There has to be a solution - there has to be something else. She won't give up, not until the very last waking second. But there lies an issue - she can't leave Kaji behind. She doesn't want to leave Mithos and her 'family' here behind either. It's so hard to figure out what her heart needs and wants - but this thing... this, she's certain about.]

... If this is almost the end, I suppose I might as well face my weaknesses, shouldn't I? What are yours, do you think? The weaknesses you may have to face. Before the end of the battle. What do you think that is...?

[She smiles, a bit forced, running a hand over her hair.]

I guess I can be direct. I have... a sort of creature in my head that eats my memories day to day; I've forgotten... so much. Places. Moments in time. People. I try not to think about it too much, because it certainly doesn't do me any good, does it? I don't even remember how I'd gotten this creature. I don't even remember the day the mushi master came to me and told me what happened. But the truth is... the shifts here made me remember some things. I remember... going to find my husband; he was a traveler in his trade, and he hadn't been home for so long. So I went to search for him. I wanted to be brave, but in the end, he was - 

[She steadies a breath. Memories are hard. Sometimes she wonders if forgetting would be easier.

But that's the point, isn't it?]

He had made a new family and abandoned mine. I had been so destroyed by it, I let the pain take over, and I lost... almost everything. My memories were nearly all eaten away, because I couldn't handle pushing back against that and the kagedama in my head. I was fortunate enough that my depression didn't take away memory of my home, of my son. I can't even imagine what life would have been like, had I lost those as well. Regardless... I want to be stronger now than I was then. I remember what he did - and...

I'm okay now.

[She clears her throat.]

I think - I'm ready. I can't let this keep taking away from me anymore if I can change it. But I can't let the possible dangers of it scare me away anymore. So... If there's anyone who is able to and willing to, the way to destroy it... [She hasn't forgotten. She's written it down, always reviews it every morning, never forgets.] The creature's in my head, and only light can kill it, so if anyone is capable of going into my head to destroy the thing...

I want to be free of them. I want to remember every face and moment here. I'm tired of losing. 

[Even if potential dangers are present, or if there's complications, it's now or never. Right?]

And - I'm ready to sleep again. I want to remember.

Um - thank you for listening. 

[She offers the screen a bow, before turning it off.]

Comments

video

[biophilia]

Sayo ...

[this is-- a lot to take in. Her request. The story he'd never known, that she must have experienced on her own with her son... that's why... that's why... How did she ever find out? -- Who...]

[to his own surprise, he find it necessary to slow his breathing, regain composure. Both shades of concern-- the dedication to his work and his affection for Sayo tied so specifically to this place-- are overlapping. Worry. Skepticism. Protective, contradictory impulses.

Tired of losing.

Oh, Sayo.

But isn't that the nature of this place, of the people here? Willpower that translates to flight? Power over the elements? If there was any place to hope beyond hope, even for a handful of months. Gently--]

If you want to do this, we [not me; this is your decision] should explain what that entails.

video

[memoryboxes]

[She nods, very certain of herself, breathing a heavy sigh of relief. It's like finishing a school presentation... if she'd ever known what those two words mean.]

I want to. And we should, Ginko-san.

I trust you to let me know anything I don't understand.

[biophilia]

Alright. [He couldn't sound more resigned. It's what he doesn't understand, what other villagers might not understand that he's worried about. We're a fragile species of human.]

As long as-- you're prepared for the fact that there might not be any safe options.

[memoryboxes]

[She sighs softly under her breath, and then shrugs, smiling.

It's a sort of What can ya do? motion.]

I suppose life itself isn't particularly guaranteed to be safe, is it?

[illusional]

...a creature that lives inside your head?

[If Cheyenne were actually looking at Sayo right now, she'd probably remember her from her soul alone. But it's been awhile, so chances are Sayo might not remember her anyway.]

What sort of creature is it? I can't imagine going into one's head would be something very easy to do.

SORRY SAYO

[biophilia]

[muttered, almost as if he's half-trying not to interject] It's mushi. It's an organism, not a spirit, but it isn't tangible the way most organisms are.

[these aren't even responses to anything Cheyenne specifically asked, but Ginko feels the pressing need to clarify beyond doubt] It's embedded in the brain.

[there he's done, he'll stop

for the moment]

[memoryboxes]

[She chuckles, mostly awkwardly because oh Ginko.]

What he said.

I'm not sure what an organism means entirely, but I guess it's that!

I can't really remember how it entered my head, to be honest. I suppose the ear would make sense...

[illusional]

[Oh, now there's a voice she can recognize. It helps that he mentions the name -- mushi. She's pretty sure she's seen something by that name in the past. And if she could see it, that more or less explains what she needed to know about it.]

I see.

I suppose you would not be asking if there were means of drawing it out otherwise? Short of splitting one's head open, I cannot think of any other conventional means of entering one's head to remove such a thing.

[Cheyenne, don't talk about splitting heads open so casually...]

[memoryboxes]

I'm... I'm not really sure.

What happens if someone were to split my head open? I didn't know heads did that.

[lostinmyway]

Sayo. [Have a warm smile.] You're very, very brave.

[memoryboxes]

[A-ah. She smiles, a bit more bashful.]

I'm trying to be, I guess! I just don't want to let it all get the best of me...

[lostinmyway]

I'm sure you won't. Now that you've told all your friends, they'll help you, too. You can count on them--and me!

[memoryboxes]

[She smiles, practically sparkling at the words.]

I know — isn't it wonderful, having so many to count on here...?

Sometimes it feels like you're capable of anything!

[Video]

[heartofdragons]

I'm... so sorry, that's so sad!

... I hope you get the help you need to break free.

[Video]

[memoryboxes]

Thank you. And it's sad, but at least there's a bright side! I'm alive and healthy, after all.

That's very important. Don't you think?

[concasse]

Sayo-san...

[Sanji is fortunate to have known most of the details - the sting of Sayo's past doesn't lead to a frothing rage on her behalf.

He switches energies, switches gears]

I think I might know someone who can help.

[memoryboxes]

... You do?

[She leans in closer, a hand over her heart.]

Who would that be, Sanji-san? Is it someone I would know — if, if I would remember them, that is.

[concasse]

I don't know if you two have ever met, but he's a doctor on my world.

[Not Chopper, though oh, if his nakama were here and he had the skill to help...]

His name's Trafalgar Law.

[biophilia]

Law? [GINKO INTERUPTS. This is news to him.] What can he do?

[wise_maiden]

Where are you now, Sayo?

[She's listened to the conversation, the discussion about possible solutions. A lot of risk is involved. But with the stakes?

Sayo shouldn't be alone while listening to all of that. Especially if there were details she needed clarified along the way.]

[memoryboxes]

I'm out walking to clear my head.

It's a lot to take in, isn't it? So many things to consider.

[wise_maiden]

Indeed. Do you mind if I join you? You've made an important decision today, and it still sounds like there's a lot to absorb about it.

[Video]

[savedtheworld]

[A mushi. So this is what they're capable. Frankly, it's horrifying for Aang to hear about: a creature that eats one's memories. Memories are so precious to Aang, and he's now struggling over all the ones he may lose by going home. As if one of those mushis would open their jaws wide and swallow them all up.

It's a sad story in a lot of ways. He doesn't think he's ever heard of someone just leaving one family to start another. Who could be so cruel-hearted? Aang's never talked to this woman before, but her story's been an emotional roller coaster just to hear, so he turns on the video feed. The teenage monk with a small beard smiles softly.]

I... I agree with Grune. I think that you're really really brave, and I have hope that- that you'll find the right solution.

[Light. His first thought is of Raava, but he's not sure how that would be applied. Oh well... it looks like some of the others are discussing a different solution anyway.]

[Video]

[memoryboxes]

Thank you.

...

I — I'm sorry if this is the case, but have we met before?

As you can probably guess, I don't remember faces very easily.

[or places. or things. or events in time.]

[Video]

[savedtheworld]

[He shakes his head softly.]

Nope! If we have, then my memory must not be perfect either! My name's Aang.