Sayo | Mushishi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
memoryboxes) wrote2011-01-16 02:35 pm
memoryboxes) wrote2011-01-16 02:35 pm
8th Memory [Action/Voice]
[Daily routine is a-go—'wake up' early, arrive at the restaurant at ungodly hours to make sure it's all ready to go... Well, this time she feels anxious, for reasons she's not too sure about. Full of energy. So, she arrives at the restaurant a few hours earlier and just... cleans. Cleaning was therapeutic, it felt like, and when she was done, that place was sparkling like new. Aaaah, contentment, thy name is Sayo. |D
Oh, this must certainly include the kitchen area, too. It must be squeaky clean for the safety of Sanji-san and the customers and workers!
When that's all fine and dandy and she's off-work, she decides to drop off some simple yet patterned kimono to the clothing shop that she'd made; it's pretty clear that once someone weaves for half of their hours in the day, they're bound to make too much stuff to keep around. And even then, she's started really enjoying finding and experimenting with patterns in the shop to use things like this in her work. Granted, she has to sticky-note everything to say she'd been working on them in the first place—
countless nights of 'who's been in my weaving room'
—but she finds it more than worth it.
...Still.
Ever since her mallynap, Sayo's felt as thought she's missing something—forgot something that was very important. And she knows that, while it's almost impossible to regain lost memories, it's at least possible to try and see if the ones she has right now can point her in a direction. After listening to people like Ami and Kamina and Hughes, it just sinks its claws into her, this unsureness.
So she goes to the library, and begins to read.
It's well into her fourth or fifth hour there, as the daylight is gone, that her face pales a little at what she's realized.]
[Voice // Pffft Sayo can't filter anything ever]
Ginko-san, are you there?
[She tries not to sound nervous, but it slips out anyway. Honestly? She doesn't want to bother him more than she has to, considering. But she just has to know.]
Oh, this must certainly include the kitchen area, too. It must be squeaky clean for the safety of Sanji-san and the customers and workers!
When that's all fine and dandy and she's off-work, she decides to drop off some simple yet patterned kimono to the clothing shop that she'd made; it's pretty clear that once someone weaves for half of their hours in the day, they're bound to make too much stuff to keep around. And even then, she's started really enjoying finding and experimenting with patterns in the shop to use things like this in her work. Granted, she has to sticky-note everything to say she'd been working on them in the first place—
countless nights of 'who's been in my weaving room'
—but she finds it more than worth it.
...Still.
Ever since her mallynap, Sayo's felt as thought she's missing something—forgot something that was very important. And she knows that, while it's almost impossible to regain lost memories, it's at least possible to try and see if the ones she has right now can point her in a direction. After listening to people like Ami and Kamina and Hughes, it just sinks its claws into her, this unsureness.
So she goes to the library, and begins to read.
It's well into her fourth or fifth hour there, as the daylight is gone, that her face pales a little at what she's realized.]
[Voice // Pffft Sayo can't filter anything ever]
Ginko-san, are you there?
[She tries not to sound nervous, but it slips out anyway. Honestly? She doesn't want to bother him more than she has to, considering. But she just has to know.]
Re: [ action ]
She almost can't register Ginko's touch against her shoulder, trembling under an immense weight no tangible amount could rival. She blamed herself—because that's in her nature, to automatically bear the brunt of the problems surrounding her. Because she believes that, if something goes wrong around her universe, she should've been able to help it.
And there was no helping this. Right? ...Right?]
I've forgotten so many people...
The people who raised me... the people who stood beside me... the man who gave me the one thing that I couldn't live happily without.... If I forget Kaji, I don't know what would happen...
[And as she chokes on a sob, she seems startled, before she manages a low-hearted smile.]
Oh—Oh, I—I'm making the strangest noises, but I—I can't stop...
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-- it's the same thing that's happened before. The vacuum made by Luceti cutting family and friends apart, pulling him into a place that he so carefully-- so carefully avoids.
but he can't just watch. He waits, pensive]
Then you'd just have to remember again. [realism, then softened] But I don't think you'll forget your son. You never have. [a tight pause, and this much slips out] - he's always been there, for you.
[quieter, now--] Sometimes you can't help forgetting.
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But not alone, really, when you think about it.
She wipes her eyes with the ends of her sleeves, swallowing down a choked noise. No more of that, Sayo. No more of that.]
You're right. I can't think like that... I—It's not good. To think that way. I just have to do the best I can do, because any less wouldn't be fair to Kaji.
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I'll just do the best that I can, and see where it takes me. It's all anyone can really do, isn't it?
[ action ] 1/2
But you're going to have to face this again. And again. And it isn't really the same, as being at home. So while he hums in assent and nods-- he also leans back at looks upward, fingers searching out a cigarette.]
[ action ] 2/2
And then says, quietly, straightforwardly-]
There are some things I'll never be able to remember, either.
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Things you won't remember...?
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But maybe it's this place, more than anything, that's teaching him to speak this way.]
Mm. [another draw and exhale of smoke, watching it] You said you forgot the ones who brought you into the world....
I can't remember, either. [it isn't something to feel guilty over. It's not your fault.]
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Wait—you can't remember either? How is that? Why is that...
For some reason, she pictures little creatures that she's never seen herself: imaginary, conjured up, and yet still very real—probably so very different than what she thinks they may resemble—to Ginko.]
...Did it have to do with mushi?
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Someone else told me its name, when I was older.
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Oh—she definitely wasn't expecting Ginko to have similar problems; not like that.]
How much... How many memories did you lose, Ginko-san?
If—that's okay to ask...
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But I'm not entirely certain.
...
My very earliest memory [his tone a little richer, the way it grows when telling stories] -- is walking in complete darkness. I didn't know where I was, or why. [or who] But I could smell the earth, and after a while I could see a light-- like a false moon, fainter then it should be. It rose and set... and then something like the real moon followed.
Finally, the sun rose. [and he'll never forget it. A pause.] That's where my memory begins. I was ten, maybe.
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[He was missing ten years out of his life? Ten years... it must've been very difficult, to have to deal with it at such a young age. She was lucky enough to have it so much later in life... She smiles, aimed elsewhere as well.
And the image crosses her mind—a calming sunrise, like at home. She saw it quite often, just beyond the forest and mountaintops...]
The smell of the earth... and then the sun rising...
...It almost sounds like the world welcomed you back.
Re: [ action ] /loves all over this thread
...but don't forget. There is no place in the world, that you are not allowed to be.]
-- maybe so.
Re: [ action ] /|D ♥♥♥♥ 1/2
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[She flinches into the bench, a look of surprise crossing her features; clearly, something awful was happening—]
Ginko-san, there are holes in the sky!
[pointing to the bright specks all around]
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They're just stars. ...At least they should be. Outside the barrier-- but we can still see them.
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Stars... 0 results found.]
O-oh, but—what are they?
[a beat]
...How do they stay up there like that?
[Because Old-school Japan + forgetful lady = so very uneducated.]
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Well, in our world-- they're a lot larger than they look. [Ginko with his canonical knowledge of genetics and cell biology clearly knows SOMETHING about this, he shouldn't]
And probably too far away to really understand. The sun-- the light that shines during the day [no reason for you to remember what it's called, so might as well mention that] -- is a star, but close to us.
As for how... [he slouches a little and smiles] I have no idea.
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[She puts a hand over her heart, laughing.]
And it never almost gave me a heart attack, I have to say! I thought the sky was about to fall down on us for a moment!
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-- What a way to live.] Not tonight, I don't think. [he settles back and sends another stream of smoke, after the last]
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... Thank you, Ginko-san.
To be honest, I'm still a little worried about things; I think that could be said of anyone's day to day life, really... but talking about this—I'll be okay, despite whatever issues I may have. We all do the best that we can, and now I think I can do that.
So, thank you. I know it must've been strange, having to tell me what you did.
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[a smile] But I should be thanking you, too.
I've never seen you lose heart, no matter what happens.
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[Contentment flashes in her expression.]
I don't want to be that kind of person. I know Kaji would agree with me.
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Because for all that he's been astonished by the immense capacity for strength of the people here; physical, supernatural, their willpower... it's times like this that he's reminded that the people he's met on his own travels (which seem further, and further away, some days) -- are made of pretty stern stuff, in a quieter way.]